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7 Proven Strategies to Become Successfully Depressed

January 20, 2016
by Hermann Baltes

There are plenty of strategies out there to help alleviate depression. BORING! Let’s really get that depression rocking and rolling with proven methodologies to make sure it’s really doing its thing.

1. Take responsibility and blame yourself.

Blaming yourself works all the time, bet on it. On top, instantaneously you connect with deep seated old blame and its related feelings. To put yourself down is high on the “downer list.”

2. Dramatize trivialities!

Though we realize in retrospective that the depressing cause was without substance, it certainly is a terrific killer of present moment awareness. If you are really good at it all traces of live evaporate.

3. Keep the pain alive – just remember!

Memory never lets you down when it comes to reliving painful moments. Forget about the here and now – true suffering really needs the past. Projecting the past onto the future works too.

4. Be careful! Imagine what could go wrong…

To imagine the misery is like the real stuff – or even better, it is worse. Since our thought induced feelings work on imagination as well, you can rely on feeling miserable.

5. Stick with your opinions – whether they are true or not.

This is for sure an easy way to avoid learning. If you have a fixed opinion on somebody or something, how in the world would you manage to learn something new about a person or a subject. And frankly, what is more depressing than being stuck – or in other words: not learning!

6. Avoid life. And the dark void takes all life out of you.

There is no better way to hit depression than separating from life. And it is easy too. You just don’t face your “issues.” Although your inner voice tells you otherwise, you successfully ignore any hints. As time goes by you become heavier and heavier as the unresolved wears you down. Though, this is not a quick strategy, however, the continuous depressive effect makes up for it.

7. Think bad – feel worse!

You can’t beat this one. It is a life time classic. And apparently the world is full of professionals in this respect. Our mind is constantly in the I-like-or-I-don’t-like mode. Just observe how much you don’t like, on others, on yourself or about the world. It sucks, so does your feeling. Join the crowd! Go for it! It just takes seconds to take the color out of your life.

Ready for some perspective? Just thinking up and writing down these 7 strategies had me laughing more than I have in months and taking it all in from a different perspective on the same thing–and it helped immensely.